The Anarchist-Superstar Guide to Being Emo
1) pick-up your i-pod and listen to decent music…..one last time

2) Delete all the good songs and replace them with lame bands such as: my chemical romance, simple plan and faker.

3) If you’re a guy steal your sisters black skinny jeans and wear them.

4) Be sure to take photos to post on your tragic MySpace page

5) Using a safety pin and a wad of toilet paper pierce your eyebrow. DO NOT! I repeat DO NOT attempt to numb the area with ice, as you must relish the pain.

6) Stop washing your hair and comb everything from the crown forward onto your face. (don’t worry you don’t need to see where you’re walking)

7) By a new diary and decorate the cover with anarchy symbols and swastikas, these are two completely opposing ideals, but you don’t care as you’re trying to be a moron anyway.

8) Wear black eyeliner at all times, always have chipped black nail polish on your fingernails.

9) When anyone asks you a question no matter what it is, stare back at them before replying in a slow voice devoid of expression “you’re one of them aren’t you?”

10) Whenever you’re bored carve random words into your skin with a glass shard.

11) Try to feel depressed and suicidal at all times, if you should feel a happy emotion coming on just remind yourself of Rowan Atkinson in a bikini.

12) Cut your wrists, every night! But not too deeply as you don’t really want to die, just get attention for trying.

13) Whenever you see blood (the by-product of your new hobby) feel happy, then feel sad that you felt happy, then feel happy because you are sad.

14) Constantly whine to anyone that will listen that you just want to be respected as an individual……. Just like everyone else!

15) When with you’re other stupid little Emo friends talk only about two subjects: death and…..uh… ok just death.

16) Make a half arse suicide attempt.

17) Act genuinely disappointed when you fail

18) When you realise that in your quest for being an “outsider” you have become just like all the other losers, and that nobody actually cares about your point of view stop being an emo.

19) Enrol in law school drop out after 2 years

20) Become a politician instead